Label: Penggalauan, Renungan

Hey,
I don’t know how to start it. I think it’s gonna be something awkward.

Hhh (actually I’m taking a breath)

We’ve known each other for a years,

Label: Glaniz's, Me. It's just me, Penggalauan

Do you ever feel like you’re alone?


 

Label: Me. It's just me, Penggalauan

Seorang tentara baru saja selesai mengikuti sebuah perang, dan akan dipulangkan ke rumahnya. sebelum itu, ia menelepon kedua orangtuanya,
Anak : ayah, ibu, aku sudah selesai bertugas. beberapa hari lagi aku pulang.
Orangtua : benarkah? syukurlah!
Anak : tapi, bolehkah aku membawa seorang teman menginap di rumah untuk beberapa hari?
Orangtua : silakan, nak. rumah kita masih cukup untuk menampung satu orang lagi.
Anak : tapi dia cacat. dia sudah tidak mempunyai tangan dan kaki. tak apakah?
mendengar hal tersebut, ayah dan ibunya terdiam sejenak lalu menjawab,
Orantua : entahlah, nak. mengurusi orang cacat akan sedikit menyulitkan sepertinya.
mendengar jawaban tersebut, sang anak menutup teleponnya tanpa berkata apa-apa lagi.
beberapa hari kemudian, Orangtua tentara tersebut dikirimkan sebuah peti jenazah yang berisi mayat anaknya dalam keadaan tanpa kaki dan tangan. Salah satu rekan tentara tersebut berkata bahwa ia kehilangan kaki dan tangannya karena terkena ranjau dan segera bunuh diri setelah mendengar jawaban dari ayah-ibu nya tempo hari.

Label: Flash fiction, Keluarga, Renungan

In UK, there's a boy named Tom. He's almost perfect. He's smart, charming, and handsome. He had a lot of fans. one of them is Laura. She's Indonesian. She had tan skin, fat, and not pretty anymore. One day, she wanted to tell her love to Tom. So she called Tom to the cafetaria and said she wanted to borrow his sketch book.
Tom : Here you are. Make sure you bring it next week.
Laura : thank u. btw, Tom, I want to tell you something.
Tom : umm?Laura : to be honest, I love you. I've admiring you from a long time ago.
Tom : is that a dare?
Laura : no! I do love you, Tom.
Tom : umm, sorry Laura. but you're not pretty enough. u're Indonesian, i don't think it's bad. Indonesian girl is exotic. and you have tan skin but it's not exotic anymore. you such a fuckin nigga, and... look at your body! you're like a pregnant elephant. oh, shit. how the fuck u thought i'll like you?
She stand still for a while, she's almost cry.
Laura : if I could be prettier, would u be mine?
Tom : hmm (impossible!)
Then Tom walk away and leave the poor Laura.
Three months later, Tom was looking for Laura take his sketch book. He asked to her friend where is she.
Tom : Have you seen Laura? she borrowed my sketch book and I want to take it back.
Friend : I haven't seen her for the last 2 months. My girlfriend told me she is sick.
Tom : shit! where have she been? i need the sketch book, the teacher is going to check my design tomorrow!
Friend : just go to her house, dude.
Tom : ok.
After school, he went to Laura's house. But her maid told him she's in hospital. Tom really needed the sketch book, so he decided to go to the hospital.
In hospital, he saw Laura was lying in the bed. But she looked so pathetic. She almost lost all of her hair and her body looked like just a skull and skin. Not far from her bed, he saw his sketch book. He opened it and almost cry.
On the first page after his design, she drew a fat girl with caption, "The story about a fat wallflower to get her love"
2nd page is told about how much she loved him.
3rd page is told that she really wanted to be beautiful.
4th page, the sad story begun. It's wrote, "He said I'm like a nigga. So I'll start to make myself brighter. I've tried so many traditional way to make my skin brighter. But isn't working at me. I decided to go to the doctor to inject myself with whitener. I don't have enough money, so I go to illegal practice. I can't tell my parents... they would be so angry with me."
5th page, I have a deep eye bags. I know they're very annoying. I was looking for the way to .........."
6th page, I want to make my teeth whitener.
7th page, how to hide my scars........
and 12th page, "After almost 1 month I tried to make myself beautiful my friends start to call me pretty. I was so excited.  But then, I realized. He ever called me fat. So I tried to diet. I was trying so hard, I can lost 14 kg in 1 month. my weight was 46. My parents asked me to stop, but I won't. 
Every time I look myself on mirror, I see a pregnant elephant-just like he said. So I try harder to lost my fat.The next month, I can lost 10 kg. My parents was so worried. They told me to go to the doctor. But I don’t. 
The next day, my hair start to fall out. My weight continued decrease and I’ve not menstruation for the last two months. At the night, my brother came to my room and brought some articles about anorexia. In those articles written about some characteristics of anorexia patient. And I have all of the characteristics. With sad eyes, my brother asked me to stop the diet.
Once again, I denied. I don’t know why, but now I hate the food. When I look to the food all in my mind is, “Why the fuck I must eat? They’re just make me uglier.” I know it’s crazy. And you might can’t imagine my suffering when I try to not eat. But as I promise, I’ll be prettier. I’ll do anything so Tom can love me. So I can be his princess. But you know, with this passion I enjoy all of my suffering when I’m starving.
The next week, my mom brought me to the doctor. The doctor said I have Anorexia Nervosa. Anorexia nervosa is a potentially life-threatening eating disorder. It is a serious psychological disorder characterized by either a significantly reduced appetite or complete aversion to eating. They said I needed the therapy. The doctor forced me to eat, because if I don’t I’ll die in next 2 month. Now my weight 25 kg.
In hospital I always scream at the nurse and refuse to eat. Every time they force me to eat, I’ll vomit it back. I don’t understand what they see. My parents and the doctor told me I’m like the life-skull. But all I see in the mirror is the pregnant-elephant………..”
In the last page, there is a sentence written by capital letter, “AM I PRETTY ENOUGH NOW?”
Tom was staring at Laura, and didn’t realize his tears were coming down. “What… what did I do?” asked Tom to himself.
He came closer and hold her hand, “I’m sorry… you’re pretty in your way. I should realize it. I’m sorry Laura… I’m so sorry…”
Laura was staring him back, and her tears fell like the first rain drops in the summer time. Her eyes was saying, “I love you, Tom.” For the last time.
The electrocardiograph was beeping and showing the flat line.  She’s gone……………

So, girl. The message of the sad story is be grateful! You might be not as pretty as Kendall Jenner or as hot as Megan Fox. But believe me, you’re pretty in your own way. We’re pretty, girls! So, let’s say NO to anorexia. By the way, you can see the pic of anorexia below. Thank u for reading!

Label: Cerpen, FYI, Opini, Recommended, Story

Mentari menepikan dirinya ke barat, menciptakan semburat kemerahan yang menimpa wajahku. Senja. Aku menghirup napas dalam-dalam—biarkanlah, selagi oksigen masih gratis—sembari menikmati indahnya senja. Aku selalu suka senja. Terlebih hari ini. Tak lama azan Maghrib berkumandang, aku kembali ke dalam rumah dan mengeraskan volume televisi. Orang-orang di MUI sedang melakukan sidang isbat. Ramai menentukan kapan jatuhnya hari pertama Ramadhan dengan melihat hilal.

Aku terpekur, Ramadhan lagi. Bukan aku tidak suka bulan suci ini, malah aku selalu menantikan kehadirannya. Suasana sore saat orang-orang ngabuburit, berjalan santai sambil ngobrol ngalor-ngidul tanpa gosip, kata-kata yang lebih terjaga, juga ketentraman yang menyeruak. Tapi Ramadhan kali ini membuatku memaksa mengingat sesuatu. Satu tahun lalu.

Cepat-cepat aku menggelengkan kepalaku, berharap dengan cara begitu aku bisa mengusir kenangan yang melintas. Tapi gagal, kenangan itu, senyum itu, sosok itu, kembali hadir. Bulan Ramadhan memang bulan yang penuh berkah, banyak sekali berkah yang keluarga kami dapat, khususnya aku. Terlebih saat aku bertemu kamu lagi.

Semua memang awalnya baik-baik saja, senang-senang saja. Sampai akhirnya kamu pergi. Sakit. Dan sekarang, aku harus dihadapan pada kenyataan yang tidak mengenakkan. Sudah satu tahun, dan aku belum benar-benar bisa melupakanmu. Memang benar ada orang lain, memang benar banyak yang memasuki hidupku dan memang benar ada dia. Tapi rasanya kamu belum bisa benar-benar lenyap dari otakku. Masih leluasa berlarian dalam khayalku. Dan seringkali membuat otak dan hatiku bergumul. Salah, memang salah. Harusnya tidak begini. Kini kamu dan dia hadir membentuk suatu euforia semu yang aku sendiri tak bisa menjelaskannya.

"Lupakan! Apa yang kamu lihat darinya? Kalau kamu memang hanya mencari kenyamanan, bukankah dia lebih bisa menjagamu? membimbingmu?" jerit otakku.
"Tapi cuma dia yang bisa begitu, memberi waktunya seutuhnya untukku. Sedangkan dia seringkali tenggelam dalam urusannya sendiri." bantah hatiku.

Ah, payah. Harusnya bulan ini dimanfaatkan untuk mendekatkan diri pada Sang Khalik, beramal sebanyak-banyaknya. Tapi kenapa aku malah mengalami pergelutan dalam benakku? Baiklah, aku seringkali jatuh karena mendengarkan hatiku dan tak memperdulikan logika. Kali ini aku membiarkan otakku yang menguasai pergulatan. Jadi, bersoraklah wahai otak! Okay , kalau begitu aku harus tetap menjalaninya.

"Tapi apa perlu? Buka bersama sekaligus reuni seperti dulu? Ah, cuma mengundang pahit saja." gumam otak yang meras sudah menang.
"Tapi tunggu, ini ajang silaturahmi. Minta maaf lah sana, kalau-kalau kamu punya salah sama teman-teman lamamu." hati menentang, merasa menemukan celah untuk berontak.
"Tapi tetap saja aku masih belum siap jika harus bertemu lagi dengannya!" sergah otak.

Begitulah. Hari ini mereka terus bertentangan, bersilang pendapat. Tanpa ada hasil dapat diambil. Menggantung.

Label: Glaniz's, My day, Penggalauan, Renungan

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